Reuniting With Old Friends When the News Feed Is Terrifying
Why does the title sound so scandalous? It is not an exposé, I promise. I would love for my blog, my source of baking my emotions and thoughts into good bread, to not include disease-ridden paragraphs. But, it is in our lives. I wish to be honest when I write. And my life is not a fantasy. For now.
There is a very standard relationship between me and the news channels. I avoid news in order to only stress out of my mind and not out of my very soul. When something changes in the pattern of a specific topic, then I learn about it from reddit.. or any other social media.
So, I consumed and consumed the changes about covid this month. Until I was a frightened individual with pessimistic thoughts about the future. Positivity was like a steel bar I refused to let go of this year. Now I am smacked with reality. Are we going on another lockdown in September?
Hearing myself ask that question back in my head; I sound like a news reporter. It is an important basis of my piece though.
You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living breathing screaming invitation to believe better things
— Jamie Tworkowski
People need people. What are we? Human beings that require faith and stability through each other, a hand to hold and a face to turn to when the world is not that beautiful. It’s not surprising that the memory that dived in to rescue me from shutting down was the laughter of an old friend.
Walking in a wholly green park that grandparents take their grandkids, every day at 7 pm. We would follow its paths. She would tell me stories about man troubles and we would drink orange tea or lemon tea. She had vivid eyes and a naïve heart. We would laugh a lot. She was the friend you can text for anything and she will say yes. I don’t like people that find walks boring. No, you are boring. They don’t seem to understand the simplicity of a divine sunset.
I called her a few weeks ago. Just as I remembered, she greeted me with a big smile. I felt small and cherished despite having formed a slightly hard shell lately. What a good friend. She was blissfully happy, despite everything. She screamed resilience. Something that we will need in the future. The happiness to see me and spend time with me was a warm hug of security. Who doesn’t want that? We walked along the beach line and laughed about the most ridiculous things. Because that’s how it is. Flow, not force.
I was surprised to see her still carry love for me. Openly. There was no bad blood, she didn’t ask any questions with a motive meant to put me down. She had transformed the naivety to strength and beauty. I was so proud of her. I am so proud of her. As we talked about jobs and feelings, we strolled around the small roads that host fast food places and held hands. We held hands the entire way.
‘Are you scared about the future? What do you think will happen?’
She gave me two answers that seemed to navigate her plans and continued on about our lives now. About my break up. Her partner. Plans to move. She wants to move near the countryside, I hinted I want to go abroad. Again. I think it is inevitable. But, that was another topic to discuss.
Exhilarating to be more grown ups now. There is something so healthy about that. We grew, definitely grew in different ways, undeniable we can not go back, and yet we shared the same easy laughter. Our voices used to tremble as we’d yell frustrations from families and not understanding relationships and now with the same voices, we stood together and talked about children and solid directions. Yet, the laughter. We were 20 again.
A safe ship was created to pass the storm. That’s what our reunion felt like. Shared laughter on stable ground is a blessing. All laughter is. To me, it was important to write and drown in it, because it was layered with kindness. Something I miss terribly. Kindness and decency.
Now I have her in my life again.
We meet outside the same bookstore and give the same kind eyes.
How was your day? What did you do? What made you laugh today?