The Fairy Is Eating
Some days, I can conquer the world. Other days, it takes me three hours to convince myself to shower.
I did not have fun yesterday. My mind was cluttered. To be honest, very cluttered. Had I been a witch character in a video game, I would have had the mind connection skill in reverse. Can’t connect with other life sources, but they can connect with me.
During random moments of the day, I had consumed non-necessities. If I am shown something that looks bad or good for me, I get influenced. Which is pretty human but it was not my night. The catastrophe in the news combined with me struggling the last few weeks to fit somewhere was getting to me. I had not been journaling aka checking in with myself. Bold move. Bad move. So yesterday, my frustrations found me like a Nazgûl from Lord of the Rings.
How do I take care of my wings? I am not the first person to admit I am struggling to feel balanced and good enough.
I turned off my phone, I signed off from everything and I went back to the basics. What really works for me behind the fog?
I had to clear my headspace. Journaling for two hours, I deconstructed ideas that I had picked up during the summer. It is such a good relief when you can put something down and realize it is not a necessity. And it has nothing to do with you. Five ways to do this, two-minute list to do that, riches are going to the moon. I had to confront my fear of overwhelmedness. Oh, by the way, I am not really a wizard and this isn’t the Shire so my fear was not conquered while riding a horse. I cried. Thumbs up!
Structure again. After all the space had been cleared. I had freedom. Freedom to put things in place.
Here is where I landed. Eat all your meals, write how you feel, be loyal to your goals.
Food is a difficult concept for me. I often feel full even though I have not eaten enough and it is probably one of my least remembered priorities. I was honestly shocked yesterday to read on it and be reminded how important it is for my mental health. More important than my stickers book. Wow.
Nutrition is a great way to get back to myself and keep myself for the next months. More than just a habit. Nutrition is key.
I went to Etsy, my favorite place for resources. It is my favorite because the sellers there are on point and on Etsy I don’t spot a repetitiveness. Everybody on that site works hard and has unique ideas. I love uniqueness.
And then I met my Galadriel. There was a design of a meal planner that I really loved. The minimal, colorful, happy style worked for me. I had a specific idea of how I wanted it to be. Smaller, light to be carried everywhere. Spoiler alert, I plan on traveling this year, after all. Late night, feeling half empty, I decided to contact the seller. Marissa not only replied fast to me but she was extraordinarily kind and helpful to me. She custom-made the design I needed. All was done and printed in a way that fit my new plan. My plan of being basic. Basic care. Nutrition is just number one.
Excited and motivated, I began sewing it together in our small balcony as it can be seen in the picture.
I hope this was one tiny step towards many more. Until I feel better and return. . . The fairy eats again.